Stung Bum

All this talk of bare bottoms has brought back another memory. Yes, another time where I wasn't wearing the necessary under garments.

This time I wasn't more than about five. Why I wasn't wearing knickers is a mystery because Mum was always very strict about that - I can only assume that I took them off when she wasn't looking.

Across the road from us was a corner shop. One of the old-fashioned ones that you don't see in London anymore; a shop that sold everything from one egg to a dishcloth. The couple who owned the shop had a son, Timothy.

I used to play with Timothy a lot, and this particular day he'd brought a bunch of empty boxes out of the shop and had lined them up on the pavement out front. He sat in the first box—the engine of the train—and I sat in a carriage further along. He tooted and whistled and the train chugged along. It was all good fun.

But then everything went wrong.

I decided to change carriages. Out I got, walked to the back and climbed into a new box. I sat down and.... arrrggghhhhhh! The most horrendous burning sensation went through my bum!

I ran across the road to my Mum (luckily there wasn't much traffic in our street back in the 60s), clutching my backside and crying like a banshee.

A quick look at the damage told Mum what had happened. I'd sat on a wasp! To make sure she wasn't mistaken, she went over and had a look in the boxes and sure enough, there in the last box was a dead wasp.

Now I don't know about you but I can think of better ways of killing a wasp than by sitting on it, especially with a bare backside. It'd obviously stung me during its death throws, determined to get its own back on me.

Needless to say, sitting down comfortably wasn't an option for several days following that particular event but it did teach me to always look at what's inside before getting into a cardboard box. And after all, that's a piece of wisdom you just never know when you might need, isn't it?

PS: The boy's full name was Timothy Lyons. If you're out there, Timothy, and you recognise this story, do get it touch.

~~+~~